Accepting Reality is “Alpha”

There’s a lot of talk about what an alpha male is, and how to avoid being a beta male… but I think that in order to be an “alpha” male in the idealistic sense you must first actually know what it is even to be human. I think perhaps the most important part of being an “alpha male” is being in touch with reality and having a really good view of what is “normal.”So a few things that all humans share in common:

At some point or another, we all shit and piss our pants. And at some point, other people know about it. At the very least when you’re in the nursing home, and certainly when you’re an infant. Public flatulation is a manifestation of your humanness. I’m quite gassy. The reason I bring up pooping first is because it’s particularly foul and Diogenes the dog philosopher seemed to be quite proud of it. Plus, poop jokes make for great fun.

All humans cry. I confess, even having been gifted with the two solar system-sized testicles I have, I weep. In fact, I’d say that any large absence of tears is perhaps sign of a prolonged psychological illness.

All humans make devastating mistakes, hurt their friends, hurt strangers, hurt their family, and consequently hurt themselves in a self-destructive manner at some point or another.

All humans face rejection. Over and over. Including, and perhaps particularly relevant to the context of this blog: sexual rejection.

All humans can think of a lot of people that are way better than them, or worse than them at every single thing they could possibly want to achieve or be good at. This includes your mom, your dad, your “oneitis” crush, rock stars, porn stars, and the pope.

All humans give up on goals, get distracted, and piss away their precious time on this green Earth. Which, by the way, brings me to my next point, and perhaps most important quality of humanity to face.

All human life ends in eventual demise. Worship of flying spaghetti monsters or otherwise does not negate this fact.

Now, try to follow me here… but something I recently realized is my perception of what a good story is has drastically changed. I never really understood how tragedy became such a common theme in theater, but I’m starting to get it. A good story tickles our imaginations, but in some truly abstract way and perhaps only at the edge of our senses brings back an analogy to what real life is. Embracing the reality of the future tragedy of all lives can bring one back to the center, bring one back to “living for the day” (carpe diem) and bring an end to all that procrastination we’re all guilty of.

Stop feeling like you’re bad because you’re human. Embrace it. Squeeze the pain out, get it over with, and move on with your conceptual life. This is the way to being “alpha.” True alpha — not the bullshit, faking the tough guy stuff that is plastered across the TV. If everybody could give up on trying to be their contrived, TV super heros everyone would be a lot happier in realizing that no one was really believing they could be in the first place (as much as we really want evidence that super heros are for rizzeal and with enough self-improvement we too can have the sole weakness of kryptonite).

Okay, now I have only one more thing that can add to this idealism-destroying post:
“By age 40, one male in 10 is still a virgin [in Japan]. 7.9% of the men in the 40-45 age segment claimed they have yet to experience sex. If at least some of the 5% who gave no response are added to the former figure, it means that over 10% of Japanese men in that age group are still virgins. “

In the aforementioned article there’s a little blip about how they believe Japanese culture is partially to blame, but even if the science is off, and the statistics are skewed, I know there’s at least a shred of truth in it so it doesn’t change my somewhat ambiguous point.