Hi, it’s been a while… I know. I’ve been planning on doing some writing for a while, but I woke up this morning with a spontaneous eye infection (stye) and decide it best that I stay home and do whatever the fuck I want for a change.
I’d like to talk about two topics, obviously. One is obsession. I’m naturally a little neurotic, it’s true. I imagine a lot of guys that may be reading this are. Oh, golly gee hell, I know my friends, and I know that they’re the ones reading this so I’ll say it plainly: you’re a bunch of neurotic bastards.
But that’s great, actually. Because most neurotic people seem to have a creative genius hiding just beneath the surface that, with a little relief, creates a very powerful powerson. So in a way, I think guys like us, if we can ever get a breath of fresh air, are just the kind of guys that change the world. Really. Change the world. Maybe even save the world. I think a better word for neuroticism is “misdirected passion”. Make that two words.
I find I’m at my happiest when I’m obsessing about something I CAN CHANGE. It’s when I’m obsessing about things that I believe I’m powerless to change that I get frustrated, so how do I stay within my area of things I can control, you ask? I pick up hobbies. Recently I’ve come to picking up hobbies pretty impulsively, actually. I like the satisfaction on having chosen something impulsively, then intentionally staying on task to get to a level of proficiency I consider satisfactory. I find this adds to my repertoire of things that make me smile, regardless of whether other people know I can do it. I’ll give you an example. Recently I took up unicycling. At any given time, no matter where I am, I know I’m a part of a very small crowd that can ride a unicycle pretty well. I can go the distance on it. I like this. There’s very little criteria under which I attempt to choose my new hobbies by, so let me list them:
- They stand out. Few people can do it, and people notice it when I do it. Peacocking through abilities, in a way.
- I can expect to get to a level of proficiency at which I don’t look like a retard within a few months of solid practice.
- It is something I can expect to use, or do frequently.
Okay, now cool. Now… staying on task so that you actually use your new hobby. Since you’re reading this I bet you’re working on it pretty well. The way to make sure you keep practicing is… during down time when you’re not practicing set yourself up with active reminders of the activity you’re focusing down on. I like youtube for this since I surf the net a lot. Look up youtube videos of people doing your hobby. Whether it’s pick-up, karaoke, unicycling, or milking goats. For pick-up you might keep a notepad for lines you want to practice “in field.”
If you get down and stuck in a period of procrastination, don’t worry about it. Don’t beat yourself up… it’s not like you’ve “lost ability” or anything like that. Bullshit. Your brain remembers all the practice you’ve done up until now even if it’s been a long down period. This is probably one of the key areas to remember about any hobby. If it’s once you practiced years ago, then that makes it that much of an easier one for you to pick up and “finish” (take to a level of proficiency you’re proud of).
I’m about to suggest a hobby that I think can expand your mind, and probably help you get women: Make it your policy to break unnecessary conventions. Break them all up. Make that more your goal than getting the girl. I suggested on the Memphis Lair forum that one of my friends take a girl grocery shopping on his first date with her. Basically, you want people to remember you. If the girl ditches you later for whatever reason she’ll probably remember you because you’re the guy who she helped pick out cantaloupes with on the first date. She may never have a first date like that again, and likely hasn’t up until that point. The idea here is to be unconventional as hell. The cool part about it is you get company while you do an otherwise boring errand.
When you break conventions, you can step on peoples toes… but a lot of them are pretty unnecessary and won’t hurt anyones feelings to be smashed all to hell. We just do them because everyone else does them, which, of course, because of herd instinct keeps us feeling safe. And very, very, very boring. Experiment with little conventions first like the “hi, how are you” ones. I challenge you not to say: fine, doing well, or great.
