Okay,
It’s occurred to me that many guys have trouble recognizing when enough comfort has been built, and it is time to gradually move into the “seduction phase.” So if anyone would like to make a list of notes on how to tell when it’s time to make a real SOI, and move forward please say so.
One very, very, very important one that while I feel should be obvious in hindsight, it almost certainly was not obvious to me at one time (Hindsight is always 20/20), is that… if a girl, almost for any reason, is willing to come to your house she is showing a very large level of comfort with you. This is a rule you should keep in mind. If a girl comes to your house, and you are questioning whether or not shes really into you… please, promptly go kick yourself in the nuts. You may need to stretch first to accomplish this task. It’ll require the heel of your foot.
I’m serious. Girls know what happens in your house. They know you want to fuck them. They know you have a bed there, and probably condoms, and probably lube, and… by the way, I know we’ve covered this, women are horny and sexually frustrated too. While their sexual frustration is strange and foreign to us guys, because usually they have seemingly ample opportunity for sex and is, in fact, self-induced, it is nevertheless an unquenched desire to be told and shown that they are sexually appealing. If you’re exceedingly forward with your sexual desire (no rape, please) even if she shoots you down and acts like a bitch, deep down she is very satisfied with the fact that you expressed this. So, if nothing else, if you get shot down by being forward… feel glad that you did someone the favor of boosting their self-esteem and making them feel good about themselves, all the while giving yourself a chance at getting laid.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Well shit, I had a nice comment all typed out and apparently clicked on something which navigated me away from the page so I lost it.
To summarize my lost comment… Good stuff, I agree that if a girl is considering going home with you it’s a major sign of comfort. Most guys fail to get to this point because they don’t recognize the earlier signs though. Isolation would probably be one of the best early signs.
Agree on being forward and taking the chance of being shot down. Usually being shot down once isn’t going to end the interaction and you’ll get more chances later. Once you’ve reached that point in the interaction, she’s talking to you for a reason and is invested so being forward isn’t going to get you completely blown out.
Thanks for posting this, it’s something I’ve recently realized I need to work on. I recently re-read MM chapter on comfort. I’ve been focused so much on learning approaching that I forgot about comfort.
I had forgot that Mystery only recommends sex with girls you plan to see again & have more sex with. He even recommends against one nighters. I have totally been forgetting this when going out.
I’m currently trying to do things to build more sexual tension (like in Juggler Method) like “I would make out with you right now but there’s people around.”
I also want to try some of Mystery’s comfort building techniques like “Murder, Marry, Shag” & the “Question Game.”
What other comfort building ideas do you recommend? Anyone out there?