Okay,
It’s occurred to me that many guys have trouble recognizing when enough comfort has been built, and it is time to gradually move into the “seduction phase.” So if anyone would like to make a list of notes on how to tell when it’s time to make a real SOI, and move forward please say so.

One very, very, very important one that while I feel should be obvious in hindsight, it almost certainly was not obvious to me at one time (Hindsight is always 20/20), is that… if a girl, almost for any reason, is willing to come to your house she is showing a very large level of comfort with you. This is a rule you should keep in mind. If a girl comes to your house, and you are questioning whether or not shes really into you… please, promptly go kick yourself in the nuts. You may need to stretch first to accomplish this task. It’ll require the heel of your foot.

I’m serious. Girls know what happens in your house. They know you want to fuck them. They know you have a bed there, and probably condoms, and probably lube, and… by the way, I know we’ve covered this, women are horny and sexually frustrated too. While their sexual frustration is strange and foreign to us guys, because usually they have seemingly ample opportunity for sex and is, in fact, self-induced, it is nevertheless an unquenched desire to be told and shown that they are sexually appealing. If you’re exceedingly forward with your sexual desire (no rape, please) even if she shoots you down and acts like a bitch, deep down she is very satisfied with the fact that you expressed this. So, if nothing else, if you get shot down by being forward… feel glad that you did someone the favor of boosting their self-esteem and making them feel good about themselves, all the while giving yourself a chance at getting laid.

Something relevant to business, women, and pretty much all of life is being able to network effectively. In other words, meet people, hit it off, and feel comfortable enough to stay in touch with them. This applies to women in the respect that most guys that are good with women have a LOT of friends, and stay busy. They’re the kind of guys that can usually throw really awesome parties, right?

Meeting people was never the problem for me. That’s done with, generally speaking… sarging. You meet friends just from talking to a lot of people at work, in common interest groups (lairs for example), and everywhere else under the sun. Basically, by living life and playing video games and watching TV less.

What may hold you back from effectively growing your network seemingly has two aspects:
1.) Calling people you’ve lost touch with can be a little more difficult if it’s been a long time since you last spoke. Think of this as a type of approach anxiety (including with women, and friends that are either male or female).

2.) Even if you call an enormous number of people, an individual only has so much time in a week. You can’t literally go to each friend’s house for a few hours and hang with them individually always, because, of course you’re an in demand guy that knows a lot of people. This would strongly limit your maximum-homedog capacity.

Dealing with these problems
In dealing with anxiety in calling old friends, acquaintances, etc. it is important to realize that many of the friends you’ve lost touch with may or may not be as gregarious as you are. They may be a little more socially anxious. And everyone, I repeat, everyone has some anxieties that they have to push past. So approach calling up old acquaintances and friends like you would other approach anxiety: plow past it. Realize other people are human and feel similar things but it’s not a good excuse to not get in touch with old friends. Most people are bored out of their minds, would love to be surprised with a call or an invitation to something — even if they don’t accept! An invitation in the first place is a compliment, so be persistent.

Aspect #2 is actually my favorite. It’s something I’ve received great pleasure from and that is: going out of my way to introduce people to each other. If more of my friends hung out with each other it wouldn’t be so difficult to fit everyone in. Instead, we can just have a random self-assembling party since we’ve established a big group in which everybody is friends with at least a few other of the people there. I’ve gotten to the point that I pride myself on my knack for knowing what personalities are going to hit it off well together and hooking people up with some new people they’re going to enjoy hanging out with.

So make calling up old friends, acquaintances, or people whose numbers you have but never really got the opportunity to hang out with a part of your self-improvement regimen.

It has been said that the journey from AFC to PUA can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding transformations that a man can experience. We finally learn to take control of our lives with dominant authority, improving our opportunities in all outlooks of life, as well as expanding our options with women.

However, it sometimes becomes easy to let our successes cloud our ambitions. We see marked progress as we watch the man that we formerly were disappear into our pasts. We get the types of girls that we have always wanted, and quite frequently with relative ease. Soon, we begin to stand out in our social circles, jobs, and other group activities. People notice a difference, a chance in confidence - the results are undeniable.

It is, ironically enough, in our success that we often find ourselves becoming complacent. Along with the power that one is able to leverage using what he has learned comes a giant responsibility. A responsibility to use what we’ve learned to help better ourselves, and perhaps more importantly, a responsibility to help others. A responsibility to stand out, to take charge, and to lead by example.

Throughout the PUA journey, we learn that the things we had been traditionally conditioned to believe attracted women actually did the exact opposite. Showering with gifts, giving them gobs of attention, asking permission - the typical AFC mistakes - we are now acutely aware of the trouble they bring. We realize that we don’t have to be the most attractive guy in the world. A six-pack and the body of a male underwear model isn’t neccesary to get women- hell, it probably won’t help a bit unless other attraction techniques are also done correctly.

I have noticed a tendency of the developing PUA (myself included) to see massive success, and subsequently forget that certain things that may not be “necessary” to meet women are nonetheless still helpful. We go out looking like hell, wrinkled clothes, ratty tennis shoes - all because “who cares, girls love me anyway”. We forget to brush our hair in the morning, to shave, or to brush our teeth. We don’t work out, we don’t run, we hardly get off the computer except to go sarge, go to class, and go to work. This is where the problems develop. I still hear, “Why does it matter, I still have girls calling me all day?”

It matters because we are responsible for our own personal development and success. I once read a book on personal transformation by an Australian author named Matthew Kelly. His one powerful, underlying, and pervasive theme throughout the entire text was to “Be the best possible version of yourself.” I think that’s a great guideline by which we all should live.

I therefore want to encourage this community to begin taking fitness seriously. I realize that you don’t have to be jacked to meet and attract women. Conversely, consider how much more you’d clean up if you were to drop 15 pounds and pick up a little bit of definition? Could you stop your phone from ringing? And more importantly, how much better would you feel about yourself? Your body will thank you, I promise.

So here it is. I’m laying out a challenge to everyone, myself included, to set a fitness goal. It doesn’t have to be a huge one. For myself, my goal is to solidly commit to run 4 times a week, in the mornings, for an entire month, and to continue until I’m back at a level of fitness that I’m comfortable with. For others, it could be taking the first step and joining a gym. A few suggestions:

- do 100 pushups every day, without fail, even if you have to do 10 sets of 10 to finish.

- do 100 sit-ups every day, using the same breakdown if neccesary.

- run at least 1 - 1.5 miles, at least 3x a week.

I’m urging everyone to make a commitment to himself to finish, and I’d like to hear how everyone is doing. The great thing about fitness is that, with a little bit of discipline and commitment, it quickly becomes self-sustaining. You will start to enjoy working out and to feel better about yourself every time you set foot out of the gym. I’m anxious to see the results in some of you. For one month, commit towards becoming the best possible version of yourself. Best of luck!

- Kevo

Hey,
I don’t know how many of  you have even heard of  reddit, but there is a “seduction” subreddit on reddit.com. Its address is http://seduction.reddit.com/ .

Reddit is a social website where you can vote up or down links to the front of the website. I thought this might be a cool way to vote on cool pick-up related material to read.

Tell me what you think — or better yet, take some initiative and go submit a few links or vote on some.

The event was awesome. It was our first ever formal meeting, and it had a great turn out. Levo and Doc Holliday both delivered an impressive off-the-cuff seminar. I saw a lot of people get cranked with all of the new information, and I’d have to say — it was exciting. It’s definitely something I feel like should happen again, and will likely become a regular event.

I’d encourage everyone who was present and enjoyed the experience to give Doc and Levo a shout out and let them know. They did us a good turn by coming down.

Hey guys,
We’ve reserved a conference room at the downtown Holiday Inn Select (across from the peabody) for Friday March 21st 6:00PM-9:30PM in the delta room.

The cost will be approximately $13 at the door just to cover costs. I’m really excited that we got this spot because it’s so close to all of the downtown venues (walking distance). This should be the makings for a really great evening. If you have a friend or two (male 18+) feel free to bring them.

If anyone has any questions you can give me an email at webmaster [at symbol] cultivatedpower.com . If all goes well this may turn out to be something we do on a more consistent basis.

Looking forward to seeing you all there!
- PFC

Hey guys,

Just doing a post to make sure everyone knows that coming March 21st, in the evening hours, we’re going to have two guest speakers in town. The location will be announced within the next few days. Our speakers are Levo and Doc Holliday. Levo is a seasoned veteran of the game. He has been approach coaching for The Mystery Method for the last year, has overseen the personal transformation of countless guys. He has worked with top instructors such as Sinn, Tenmagnet, TheDon, El Topo. Levo has honed his own style of game to be one of the most seamless, quickest and powerful around.

Doc Holliday came into the community in 2006 a virgin and since has completely reinvented himself. He has a very laid back and comfort based approach to game that gives him the ability to met women in any situation. Doc specializes in day game and social circle game. Doc is actively teaching on the East Coast. When not teaching Doc works in the film industry and writes stand up comedy. Doc Holliday also has a blog that you can view on our blog roll.

The event is RSVP — if you’re a member of the memphis lair forum already, RSVP in the events section. Otherwise contact me via email.

I was reading Adbusters the other day and they frequently comment on the counterfeit cool that is manufactured by advertising. How you look, the way you talk, the way you spend recreation hours, all falls under the shadow of what advertising dictates as cool. While they are completely unaware of it, most people’s perception of cool is utterly controlled by advertising with a little left over from their high school days.

Think of the word success for a moment. What does it immediately bring to mind? What is the picture of a successful person? I’m relatively certain that the first thing that came to your mind was not someone who lives a humble existence, loved by friends and neighbors for their contribution to family and community. The first thing you almost certainly thought was wealth. It takes a few moments to even realize that success can be be had without a single possession.

Unfortunately, the representatives of cool that have come before us were utter pawns of corporate America. You know the guys I’m talking about. The guys who are genuinely assholes and are loved for it. The guys who came by everything automatically and never considered that they didn’t deserve to be worshipped. These semi-conscious douche-bags have had their day and now it is our turn. Nice guys don’t have to finish last anymore.

It’s an important part of the PUA journey to not let all the new power and influence go to our heads. We must not become what we reviled in the past. We are something new and better and we remember our roots. We remember that there are nice guys out there being abused and unappreciated simply because they don’t know it’s all a game. It’s a difficult balance to be confident, strong and assertive and still be considerate, but it is a balance we must master. We are the new cool.

Becoming a PUA means more than learning how to deal with women; it’s about learning social prowess and influence. It’s learning the skills of leadership. The role comes with new responsibilities as well that many of us don’t really even notice. As a leader type personality, people silently look up to us and emulate us. We begin to shape the world and behavior around us.

With great power comes great responsibility. You may not realize the lives you are impacting simply through your presence and demeanor, but you are impacting people. Keep this in mind and make certain you live the world you want to exist. We can bring back a world with honor and justice and protect the weak while venerating the strong. We can usher in a new knighthood. It sounds ambitious and possibly ridiculous but so does peacocking and game in general to those who haven’t experienced the power. Being a PUA is about obliterating the boundaries and making the world how you want it to be.

You have the power now. How are you going to use it? Be a pioneer of the New Cool. Set the standard and show people what a real leader looks like.

CultivatedPower is now offering personal coaching! View the “personal coaching” link on the right under pages for more information.

I was recently reading one of Herbal’s new blog entries (the guy from The Game), and it was nothing more than a short story of how when he was upset about his experiences with a girl he had a crush on he had a spur of the moment road trip to Las Vegas with a friend.

His friend joined him on the trip while knowing next to nothing about what they were even planning except to go to “California” (because of unexpected problems they went to Vegas instead). Doesn’t this seem odd that this guy, with next to no information, would decide to join on the trip?

With every new experience comes new fears. The unknown is always a breeding ground for fear. That’s why guys get addicted to reading about pick-up instead of going out and doing it, and becoming so-called “keyboard jockeys.” Obsessing over getting more information is all about trying to get more perceived control, instead of just risking fucking up. If you’re going to inevitably fuck up anyway, why be so concerned about it?

I suggest the reason why Herbal’s friend, Dan, was so gungho about the whole thing was for one reason: Rather than being afraid of the new experience, he was excited about the new experience and the unknown. He had some faith that whatever happened, it was going to be a great time. The physiological response is very similar, and the only difference is how you perceive it. Is that adrenaline you have excitement or anxiety?

In my life I’ve met people that seem to be able to have a great time no matter whats going on, and I’ve met people that seem to be bitter and upset even if they just won the lottery. I’ve never met anyone that’s won the lottery, but you get my point. On some level you have to make a choice and decide which kind of person you’re going to be. The person that’s excited that the world is rich, and always changing… or the person that’s upset that the world is changing without them knowing it, and without their permission.

In my life, I chose to try to always enjoy new experiences. If given the choice at dinner between eating my favorite pie, or trying one I’ve never had before I try to always choose the one that I’ve never had before.