One of the local lair guys posted a totally awesome David X quote I wanted to share here…

They give us such a hard time in the beginning. But what they’re doing is they’re testing you to see if you’ve got what it takes to take good care of her. They don’t want a pussy. If you’re reading this, I think that you need an awakening, you need a good kick in the ass. I’m not telling you to use patterns and formulas and hypnosis and subliminal messages and pheromones and fancy sports cars. I’m not asking you to divide 765 multiplied by the square root of 17 minus 0.8 plus 68 to the power of seven! I’m telling you, “Know what you want, and tell her.” I don’t want you to follow my ‘system’. I want you to follow yours. You don’t have the confidence to tell her what you want? Then maybe you’re not horny enough, maybe you don’t want it badly enough. Try being a faggot. I don’t know what to tell you. Make up your mind.

From pinke.boz…

According to a study of students in British Columbia, lesbian and bisexual teens are up to seven times more likely to become pregnant than heterosexual teenagers.

The survey queried 30,000 students in grades 7-12 over the last 16 years about their habits and lifestyles. Not only did they discover that lesbian or bisexual girls were more likely to get pregnant, they also found that gay and bisexual boys were more likely to have impregnated a woman.

So.. wtf?

Found this from the telegraph.

For full article click here.

Researchers asked 220 people to look at pictures of men and women, some of which had been manipulated to have different scars.

The pictures of men with scares received better rating as compared to pictures of men without scares. However, in case of men, scars did not enhance women’s attractiveness to men.

The beginning of this year I made a resolution to start some extreme personal development. I’ve really been improving myself in a lot ways, so much so that my friends feel it’s to the point that it’s out of the ordinary. The most common things my friends say to me when I tell them about this extreme personal development is “just be yourself.” In spite of their comments, I have gained more confidence than ever, especially with the opposite sex, & my social life is thriving more than it ever has.
Rather than having a “just be yourself” mindset, I prefer having a “push myself,” “actualize myself,” “never let myself get comfortable” mindset. When I hear the phrase “just be yourself” it triggers in my mind staying on cruise control through life, settling for a humdrum life of just going through the motions.  Always take the easy way out rather than embrace the challenges.
It gets under my skin when people tell me “just be yourself.” I question whether they are just making use of that phrase because it is such an old cliche or if they are truly sincere. Thus I always ask people when they use this cliche, “What do you mean by that?” Most people aren’t able to break it down very much, but the best answer I heard is when a friend said: “relax, it just means relax.” I believe having a life mindset of “push myself” is the only way to reach true authenticity & to really “just be myself,” & even then it is an ongoing transformation.  It’s a bit of a paradox isn’t it?
For myself & for I believe lots of people it is very challenging to “be one’s-self.” It’s even more of a challenge when you’re unique &/or weird & must integrate with mainstream society, like corporate life. It takes a great deal of courage & confidence for one to break out of years of ingrained “keep the status quo” habits & go against the grain & letting the true colors show.  Plus it doesn’t help much when the majority of the people surrounding me are content to not push any limits to develop themselves.  However for me it is worth it.
Rather than just write about & think about these concepts, it is more important to have practical applications. Here are some practical applications to “push myself” so that the real authentic self comes through naturally:
-Make a list of items I have always wanted to do in life, & do them without regard to what anyone else thinks. This could be starting a new hobby or a mass lifestyle change.
-Be playfully mean to people. Tell someone to do something you want them to do. Give orders so that I get my way. (Example: at the coffee shop today I ordered green tea, but I told the girl “It better not be Jasmine!” Making a direct order to her like this caused her to feel attraction towards me, & we ended up discussing our tastes in tea.  For me this is socially out of my comfort zone, but as I do it more & more it is becoming more & more comfortable to do.  Soon I will have to start doing something else outside of my social comfort zone…

-Harness Times of Motivation.  For me there are certain time phases when I feel more especially motivated than others.  Then there are times when I feel unashamedly lazy.  During the Times of Motivation, I must milk every day, hour, minute, & second for everything that it is worth.  One way I do this is set a deadline & list items I want to accomplish within this deadline.  During the time within the deadline I am able to stay more focused & productive; & in turn I automatically feel more in the zone/in nimbus state more than usual.

There’s a lot of talk about what an alpha male is, and how to avoid being a beta male… but I think that in order to be an “alpha” male in the idealistic sense you must first actually know what it is even to be human. I think perhaps the most important part of being an “alpha male” is being in touch with reality and having a really good view of what is “normal.”So a few things that all humans share in common:

At some point or another, we all shit and piss our pants. And at some point, other people know about it. At the very least when you’re in the nursing home, and certainly when you’re an infant. Public flatulation is a manifestation of your humanness. I’m quite gassy. The reason I bring up pooping first is because it’s particularly foul and Diogenes the dog philosopher seemed to be quite proud of it. Plus, poop jokes make for great fun.

All humans cry. I confess, even having been gifted with the two solar system-sized testicles I have, I weep. In fact, I’d say that any large absence of tears is perhaps sign of a prolonged psychological illness.

All humans make devastating mistakes, hurt their friends, hurt strangers, hurt their family, and consequently hurt themselves in a self-destructive manner at some point or another.

All humans face rejection. Over and over. Including, and perhaps particularly relevant to the context of this blog: sexual rejection.

All humans can think of a lot of people that are way better than them, or worse than them at every single thing they could possibly want to achieve or be good at. This includes your mom, your dad, your “oneitis” crush, rock stars, porn stars, and the pope.

All humans give up on goals, get distracted, and piss away their precious time on this green Earth. Which, by the way, brings me to my next point, and perhaps most important quality of humanity to face.

All human life ends in eventual demise. Worship of flying spaghetti monsters or otherwise does not negate this fact.

Now, try to follow me here… but something I recently realized is my perception of what a good story is has drastically changed. I never really understood how tragedy became such a common theme in theater, but I’m starting to get it. A good story tickles our imaginations, but in some truly abstract way and perhaps only at the edge of our senses brings back an analogy to what real life is. Embracing the reality of the future tragedy of all lives can bring one back to the center, bring one back to “living for the day” (carpe diem) and bring an end to all that procrastination we’re all guilty of.

Stop feeling like you’re bad because you’re human. Embrace it. Squeeze the pain out, get it over with, and move on with your conceptual life. This is the way to being “alpha.” True alpha — not the bullshit, faking the tough guy stuff that is plastered across the TV. If everybody could give up on trying to be their contrived, TV super heros everyone would be a lot happier in realizing that no one was really believing they could be in the first place (as much as we really want evidence that super heros are for rizzeal and with enough self-improvement we too can have the sole weakness of kryptonite).

Okay, now I have only one more thing that can add to this idealism-destroying post:
“By age 40, one male in 10 is still a virgin [in Japan]. 7.9% of the men in the 40-45 age segment claimed they have yet to experience sex. If at least some of the 5% who gave no response are added to the former figure, it means that over 10% of Japanese men in that age group are still virgins. “

In the aforementioned article there’s a little blip about how they believe Japanese culture is partially to blame, but even if the science is off, and the statistics are skewed, I know there’s at least a shred of truth in it so it doesn’t change my somewhat ambiguous point.

Hi, it’s been a while… I know. I’ve been planning on doing some writing for a while, but I woke up this morning with a spontaneous eye infection (stye) and decide it best that I stay home and do whatever the fuck I want for a change.

I’d like to talk about two topics, obviously. One is obsession. I’m naturally a little neurotic, it’s true. I imagine a lot of guys that may be reading this are. Oh, golly gee hell, I know my friends, and I know that they’re the ones reading this so I’ll say it plainly: you’re a bunch of neurotic bastards.

But that’s great, actually. Because most neurotic people seem to have a creative genius hiding just beneath the surface that, with a little relief, creates a very powerful powerson. So in a way, I think guys like us, if we can ever get a breath of fresh air, are just the kind of guys that change the world. Really. Change the world. Maybe even save the world. I think a better word for neuroticism is “misdirected passion”. Make that two words.

I find I’m at my happiest when I’m obsessing about something I CAN CHANGE. It’s when I’m obsessing about things that I believe I’m powerless to change that I get frustrated, so how do I stay within my area of things I can control, you ask? I pick up hobbies. Recently I’ve come to picking up hobbies pretty impulsively, actually. I like the satisfaction on having chosen something impulsively, then intentionally staying on task to get to a level of proficiency I consider satisfactory. I find this adds to my repertoire of things that make me smile, regardless of whether other people know I can do it. I’ll give you an example. Recently I took up unicycling. At any given time, no matter where I am, I know I’m a part of a very small crowd that can ride a unicycle pretty well. I can go the distance on it. I like this. There’s very little criteria under which I attempt to choose my new hobbies by, so let me list them:

1. They stand out. Few people can do it, and people notice it when I do it. Peacocking through abilities, in a way.
2. I can expect to get to a level of proficiency at which I don’t look like a retard within a few months of solid practice.
3. It is something I can expect to use, or do frequently.

Okay, now cool. Now… staying on task so that you actually use your new hobby. Since you’re reading this I bet you’re working on it pretty well. The way to make sure you keep practicing is… during down time when you’re not practicing set yourself up with active reminders of the activity you’re focusing down on. I like youtube for this since I surf the net a lot. Look up youtube videos of people doing your hobby. Whether it’s pick-up, karaoke, unicycling, or milking goats. For pick-up you might keep a notepad for lines you want to practice “in field.”

If you get down and stuck in a period of procrastination, don’t worry about it. Don’t beat yourself up… it’s not like you’ve “lost ability” or anything like that. Bullshit. Your brain remembers all the practice you’ve done up until now even if it’s been a long down period. This is probably one of the key areas to remember about any hobby. If it’s once you practiced years ago, then that makes it that much of an easier one for you to pick up and “finish” (take to a level of proficiency you’re proud of).

I’m about to suggest a hobby that I think can expand your mind, and probably help you get women: Make it your policy to break unnecessary conventions. Break them all up. Make that more your goal than getting the girl. I suggested on the Memphis Lair forum that one of my friends take a girl grocery shopping on his first date with her. Basically, you want people to remember you. If the girl ditches you later for whatever reason she’ll probably remember you because you’re the guy who she helped pick out cantaloupes with on the first date. She may never have a first date like that again, and likely hasn’t up until that point. The idea here is to be unconventional as hell. The cool part about it is you get company while you do an otherwise boring errand.

When you break conventions, you can step on peoples toes… but a lot of them are pretty unnecessary and won’t hurt anyones feelings to be smashed all to hell. We just do them because everyone else does them, which, of course, because of herd instinct keeps us feeling safe. And very, very, very boring. Experiment with little conventions first like the “hi, how are you” ones. I challenge you not to say: fine, doing well, or great.

PFC: “…but the important key is you tried something new and expressed yourself in a creative manner. That’s men’s primary sexual advertisment.”

Okay,
It’s occurred to me that many guys have trouble recognizing when enough comfort has been built, and it is time to gradually move into the “seduction phase.” So if anyone would like to make a list of notes on how to tell when it’s time to make a real SOI, and move forward please say so.

One very, very, very important one that while I feel should be obvious in hindsight, it almost certainly was not obvious to me at one time (Hindsight is always 20/20), is that… if a girl, almost for any reason, is willing to come to your house she is showing a very large level of comfort with you. This is a rule you should keep in mind. If a girl comes to your house, and you are questioning whether or not shes really into you… please, promptly go kick yourself in the nuts. You may need to stretch first to accomplish this task. It’ll require the heel of your foot.

I’m serious. Girls know what happens in your house. They know you want to fuck them. They know you have a bed there, and probably condoms, and probably lube, and… by the way, I know we’ve covered this, women are horny and sexually frustrated too. While their sexual frustration is strange and foreign to us guys, because usually they have seemingly ample opportunity for sex and is, in fact, self-induced, it is nevertheless an unquenched desire to be told and shown that they are sexually appealing. If you’re exceedingly forward with your sexual desire (no rape, please) even if she shoots you down and acts like a bitch, deep down she is very satisfied with the fact that you expressed this. So, if nothing else, if you get shot down by being forward… feel glad that you did someone the favor of boosting their self-esteem and making them feel good about themselves, all the while giving yourself a chance at getting laid.

Something relevant to business, women, and pretty much all of life is being able to network effectively. In other words, meet people, hit it off, and feel comfortable enough to stay in touch with them. This applies to women in the respect that most guys that are good with women have a LOT of friends, and stay busy. They’re the kind of guys that can usually throw really awesome parties, right?

Meeting people was never the problem for me. That’s done with, generally speaking… sarging. You meet friends just from talking to a lot of people at work, in common interest groups (lairs for example), and everywhere else under the sun. Basically, by living life and playing video games and watching TV less.

What may hold you back from effectively growing your network seemingly has two aspects:
1.) Calling people you’ve lost touch with can be a little more difficult if it’s been a long time since you last spoke. Think of this as a type of approach anxiety (including with women, and friends that are either male or female).

2.) Even if you call an enormous number of people, an individual only has so much time in a week. You can’t literally go to each friend’s house for a few hours and hang with them individually always, because, of course you’re an in demand guy that knows a lot of people. This would strongly limit your maximum-homedog capacity.

Dealing with these problems
In dealing with anxiety in calling old friends, acquaintances, etc. it is important to realize that many of the friends you’ve lost touch with may or may not be as gregarious as you are. They may be a little more socially anxious. And everyone, I repeat, everyone has some anxieties that they have to push past. So approach calling up old acquaintances and friends like you would other approach anxiety: plow past it. Realize other people are human and feel similar things but it’s not a good excuse to not get in touch with old friends. Most people are bored out of their minds, would love to be surprised with a call or an invitation to something — even if they don’t accept! An invitation in the first place is a compliment, so be persistent.

Aspect #2 is actually my favorite. It’s something I’ve received great pleasure from and that is: going out of my way to introduce people to each other. If more of my friends hung out with each other it wouldn’t be so difficult to fit everyone in. Instead, we can just have a random self-assembling party since we’ve established a big group in which everybody is friends with at least a few other of the people there. I’ve gotten to the point that I pride myself on my knack for knowing what personalities are going to hit it off well together and hooking people up with some new people they’re going to enjoy hanging out with.

So make calling up old friends, acquaintances, or people whose numbers you have but never really got the opportunity to hang out with a part of your self-improvement regimen.

It has been said that the journey from AFC to PUA can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding transformations that a man can experience. We finally learn to take control of our lives with dominant authority, improving our opportunities in all outlooks of life, as well as expanding our options with women.

However, it sometimes becomes easy to let our successes cloud our ambitions. We see marked progress as we watch the man that we formerly were disappear into our pasts. We get the types of girls that we have always wanted, and quite frequently with relative ease. Soon, we begin to stand out in our social circles, jobs, and other group activities. People notice a difference, a chance in confidence – the results are undeniable.

It is, ironically enough, in our success that we often find ourselves becoming complacent. Along with the power that one is able to leverage using what he has learned comes a giant responsibility. A responsibility to use what we’ve learned to help better ourselves, and perhaps more importantly, a responsibility to help others. A responsibility to stand out, to take charge, and to lead by example.

Throughout the PUA journey, we learn that the things we had been traditionally conditioned to believe attracted women actually did the exact opposite. Showering with gifts, giving them gobs of attention, asking permission – the typical AFC mistakes – we are now acutely aware of the trouble they bring. We realize that we don’t have to be the most attractive guy in the world. A six-pack and the body of a male underwear model isn’t neccesary to get women- hell, it probably won’t help a bit unless other attraction techniques are also done correctly.

I have noticed a tendency of the developing PUA (myself included) to see massive success, and subsequently forget that certain things that may not be “necessary” to meet women are nonetheless still helpful. We go out looking like hell, wrinkled clothes, ratty tennis shoes – all because “who cares, girls love me anyway”. We forget to brush our hair in the morning, to shave, or to brush our teeth. We don’t work out, we don’t run, we hardly get off the computer except to go sarge, go to class, and go to work. This is where the problems develop. I still hear, “Why does it matter, I still have girls calling me all day?”

It matters because we are responsible for our own personal development and success. I once read a book on personal transformation by an Australian author named Matthew Kelly. His one powerful, underlying, and pervasive theme throughout the entire text was to “Be the best possible version of yourself.” I think that’s a great guideline by which we all should live.

I therefore want to encourage this community to begin taking fitness seriously. I realize that you don’t have to be jacked to meet and attract women. Conversely, consider how much more you’d clean up if you were to drop 15 pounds and pick up a little bit of definition? Could you stop your phone from ringing? And more importantly, how much better would you feel about yourself? Your body will thank you, I promise.

So here it is. I’m laying out a challenge to everyone, myself included, to set a fitness goal. It doesn’t have to be a huge one. For myself, my goal is to solidly commit to run 4 times a week, in the mornings, for an entire month, and to continue until I’m back at a level of fitness that I’m comfortable with. For others, it could be taking the first step and joining a gym. A few suggestions:

- do 100 pushups every day, without fail, even if you have to do 10 sets of 10 to finish.

- do 100 sit-ups every day, using the same breakdown if neccesary.

- run at least 1 – 1.5 miles, at least 3x a week.

I’m urging everyone to make a commitment to himself to finish, and I’d like to hear how everyone is doing. The great thing about fitness is that, with a little bit of discipline and commitment, it quickly becomes self-sustaining. You will start to enjoy working out and to feel better about yourself every time you set foot out of the gym. I’m anxious to see the results in some of you. For one month, commit towards becoming the best possible version of yourself. Best of luck!

- Kevo